How to Write Text Messages to Someone who is Grieving?

Losing a loved one is one of life's most challenging experiences, and finding the right words to comfort someone who's grieving can be equally daunting. In today's digital age, text messages have become a powerful tool for offering support and staying connected. This blog post will guide you through the process of using text messages to provide meaningful support to someone who's grieving, based on insights from Dr. Melissa Lunardini, the Grief Clinical Officer at Help Texts.

Introduction:
When someone we care about is grieving, we often struggle to find the right words or actions to show our support. Text messages, while seemingly simple, can be a powerful way to offer comfort and show that you're thinking of the grieving person. Let's explore how you can use this everyday communication tool to make a significant impact on someone's grief journey.

Step 1: Understand the Power of Texting

Texting has several advantages when it comes to supporting someone who's grieving:

• It's non-intrusive, allowing the recipient to engage when they feel ready
• It's easily accessible and doesn't require much effort from the grieving person
• It provides bite-sized, manageable pieces of support
• It can reach people at any time, offering comfort even during late-night moments of distress

Step 2: Personalise Your Messages

When crafting your text messages, remember to:

• Use the name of the person who died in your messages
• Reference specific memories or qualities of the deceased
• Acknowledge important dates like birthdays, anniversaries, or holidays

Personalisation shows that you remember and care about their loved one, which can be incredibly comforting to the grieving person.

Step 3: Offer Practical Support

Your text messages can go beyond emotional support by offering practical help:

• Suggest specific ways you can assist, such as running errands or preparing meals
• Remind them of self-care activities they might be neglecting
• Provide gentle prompts for tasks they might be struggling with, like booking appointments

Step 4: Be Consistent and Patient

Grief doesn't have a timeline, so your support shouldn't either:

• Send messages regularly, even if you don't receive responses
• Continue reaching out long after the funeral, when support often wanes
• Be patient and understanding if responses are delayed or infrequent

Step 5: Validate Their Grief Experience

Use your messages to normalise their grief reactions:

• Share information about common grief experiences, like forgetfulness or difficulty concentrating
• Reassure them that their feelings are normal and valid
• Avoid phrases that minimise their grief or rush them to "move on"

Step 6: Provide Resources and Coping Strategies

Your texts can be a source of helpful information:

• Share breathing exercises or grounding techniques they can use in moments of distress. The Grief MOT is a free first-aid programme for grief that anyone can use. 
• If you are living in the UK, Sue Ryder is offering a grief coaching programme through text support to a limited number of subscribers. Subscribe here.  

• Recommend grief support groups or counselling services in their area
• Suggest books or articles about grief that you've found helpful 

Conclusion:
Text messages may seem like a small gesture, but they can have a profound impact on someone who's grieving. By offering consistent, personalized support through texts, you can help your loved one feel less alone in their grief journey. Remember, it's not about finding the perfect words, but about showing up and letting them know you care. Start implementing these strategies today, and you'll be amazed at the difference you can make with just a few thoughtful messages.

Listen to the full episode to find out more about how to best support someone who is grieving.